Reactions Show Character

Many days as an educator I often see students doing things that makes me pause. Some of the things I have seen this week:

·      A pencil being thrown across the room

·      Water bottles being flipped (guess this is back)

·      Students out of their seats visiting peers when it is working time

I often ask a child why he or she did the action he or she chose to do. It is getting to their WHY that is important. It could be as simple as I have no idea why I did that, or I was not paying attention, or I felt like it. There also could be more underlying things going on with the choice. By being proactive rather than reactive I invite a conversation with the child to get to the root of the issue, problem solve, develop a goal, and work towards a solution.

However, what I shared with my students about my thought process was surprising to them. I told them to throw the pencil or flip the bottle. It is their reaction to my response that matters more to me than their action. A reaction shows me their character. Will the child talk back? Will the student take responsibility for his or her actions? Does the child even want to share his or her thinking with me? How someone reacts to a situation tells me more about the person than their original action itself.

I look forward to building relationships with students, and this is one way to strengthen them! Allowing a child to make a choice and then reflect on the action can be very powerful. I hope students will pause and think about their reaction to my comments moving forward. It comes from a place of good intentions and full of heart.