Hitting the Pause Button for Colon Cancer

On September 19, 2019, I woke up thinking the worst part of my day would be having a liquid diet while doing lunch duty. I went to work, had a great day with my agents, and told them I would see them Monday. Many friends wished me luck for the colonoscopy I was having the next day for what we all thought was confirmation of what doctors felt was mild colitis. My bloodwork was stellar. My lower CT scans were good, though the second one I had showed inflammation in the colon. 48 hours later life had changed abruptly. I had to make calls I never thought I would make. I created two Facebook groups to bring together my community. 72 hours later my Superintendent kindly drove me to school on a Sunday to help me prepare for the unknown for our agents. Three weeks later I began the third clean out of my body in preparation for what I thought would be the biggest surgery I have had to date. Three weeks later it was me being virtually brought into the classroom.

Having colon cancer has meant life has made some unexpected plans for me. Someone once said to me not long ago that she could never imagine me just stopping my work schedule as I am so passionate about it. Something I learned through this is when life causes you to hit the pause button you dive in. I needed to rest, have a stent put in, and drain myself of toxins I had been carrying around for a long time. I dropped 16 pounds in less than 2 weeks because my mass had been blocking my entire colon. Once the stent was put in it did its job. Positivity and my people have carried me through on some dark days where I thought I would have to move into the bathroom.

Though no one ever really wants a situation in life to truly learn who stands with them I have been humbled by the outreach from friends all over the country and the Mansfield community. The messages, posts, check ins, texts, cards, and positive signs have helped me each day. I am glad I have a large network who stands with me. My colleagues at work, MassCUE, and my PLN from afar have stepped up in a time I needed them the most. The friendship and love I have felt from everyone have been appreciated every day. I will forever be grateful for the woman who stood in front of our agents each day, teaching them and bonding with them so I could take care of myself and have zero worries about our students. My sister had shown up every weekend she could to be with me, even for less than 24 hours. My parents have shown unwavering strength even when I am sure we all want to crumble. Falling apart has not been an option. I had a fabulous medical team at the Brigham, so I was in good hands.

My former agent 13, Colleen, was there every step of the way. She was my nurse the first week post surgery and was there to check in on me when I ended up needing emergency surgery for an obstructed bowel and hernia. As we walked around the Brigham sharing stories she would often remind me of life advice I gave her in the 3^rd grade. You never know the power of your reach, but our kids need us! Trust me.

Building relationships with students is something I pride myself in. The night before I went in for my initial surgery 20 years of agents and families sent me #postivesignthursday photos. It was those faces I carried into the operating room with me. I knew I had to get back to our classroom. So, on January 2 I walked back into our classroom part time. My co-teacher and I discussed with the students what was going on with me, shared my schedule, talked about cells and cancer, and created a stronger classroom community in that moment together. We referred to my chemo days (as I will be going through early May) as medicine days I will be out. Then we jumped right back into learning. The heartbeat of a classroom lives on no matter what. Our students carry that torch!

I know I have colon cancer. I had surgery to remove part of my colon where a tumor had been living for too long. The recovery was not easy, but I had people surrounding me to cheer me on. I saw the value in social media used for good throughout this experience. Dana Farber is studying me due to my age since we are the fastest growing group to get this kind of cancer, and they do not know why. My team is still unsure if my food allergies were actually caused by the colon cancer. The unknowns in this journey have far outweighed the knowns, which is a bit scary. But I knew I had love coming from all over the place, and that was enough for me. Thank you to everyone for being part of this journey. We got this. I am doing my job. I am on to my 4^th round of chemo. We are all in this together. And I encourage anyone reading this to remember to take care of yourself and consider checking your colon. Sometimes we need to take a deeper look at things, even if it means putting things on hold. Hitting that pause button is important.